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Director's Message

Memory Clutter June 2010

Mauri recently passed along an article by Peter Walsh called “Rid Your House of Memory Clutter,” aptly accompanied by this quote from Olivian: The Age of Property holds bitter moments even for a proprietor. When a move is imminent, furniture becomes ridiculous, and Margaret now lay awake at nights wondering where, where on earth they and all their belongings would be deposited in September next. Chairs, tables, pictures, books, that had rumbled down to them through the generations, must rumble forward again like a slide of rubbish to which she longed to give the final push, and send toppling into the sea. But there were all their father’s books—they never read them, but they were their

Mauri recently passed along an article by Peter Walsh called “Rid Your House of Memory Clutter,” aptly accompanied by this quote from Olivian:

The Age of Property holds bitter moments even for a proprietor. When a move is imminent, furniture becomes ridiculous, and Margaret now lay awake at nights wondering where, where on earth they and all their belongings would be deposited in September next. Chairs, tables, pictures, books, that had rumbled down to them through the generations, must rumble forward again like a slide of rubbish to which she longed to give the final push, and send toppling into the sea. But there were all their father’s books—they never read them, but they were their father’s, and must be kept. There was the marble-topped chiffonier—their mother had set store by it, they could not remember why. Round every knob and cushion in the house sentiment gathered, a sentiment that was at times personal, but more often a faint piety to the dead, a prolongation of rites that might have ended at the grave. It was absurd, if you came to think of it.
E. M Forster, Howard’s End PP. 140-141

I’ve addressed some of the hazards of clutter and hoarding in past messages. I want to focus on what I found unique in this article, which is the role that memories play in collecting. The box of your children’s art represents their childhood and your parenting years. The photos your father took represent him and your childhood. That hutch came from your childhood home—or your grandmother’s. There is a shelf of books you always intended to read, about things you always thought you’d master some day. Memories become a powerful force in our lives. They represent who we were and who we thought we’d become. But sometimes the things that are associated with the memories can fill all the spaces in our lives. Are you the “memory keeper” in your family? Someone has probably said, “you have to get rid of this stuff,” but you are immobilized and hurt, even if some part of you agrees. Contemplating letting go of these things evokes powerful feelings of grief and loss.
If our lives are filled with remembrances of the past, is there room for today and tomorrow? How can we find a balance between respect for the past and space for the future? Peter Walsh has these recommendations:

Change your focus from the objects to the space they occupy. Build an image of how you would like to use that space. Remove anything that is not consistent with the image. For example, a
spare room filled with clothes you are not likely to ever fit into (or be fashionable again) will never
be able to be your painting studio.

Think about the person or time these things represent and pick 1-2 favorite pieces. Think about ways you can display them to honor and enjoy that memory often. Don’t save the troubled memories.

Think about people who might benefit from the object if you give it away, whether family members or others who have needs. Pass the stories along with the objects. If you sell valuable items, get
yourself something you will really need or value to honor the memories of the source.

Some families of people with dementia create “memory boxes” with photographs or memorabilia of important people and times in their lives to help anchor them when they become confused or to help caregivers know who they once were and use as conversation starters. A small display can contain a great deal of meaning. You won’t forget. Make room in your life for tomorrow. Life is full of opportunities to build new memories!

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Director's Message

Memory Clutter June 2010

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