Director's Message
September 2008 Caregiver DilemmasCaregivers have to make decisions daily regarding the lives of their care recipients. Some of these decisions create ethical dilemmas where one is trying to choose between two or more imperfect solutions and each option has both benefits and challenges.
There are many factors we consider in making these decisions, including the person’s own wishes, safety, financial and other resources, impact on other family members, etc. My consultations with caregivers often center on finding the right balance between safety and self-determination. For example, the doctor recommends a senior living residence to protect against wandering, tripping, climbing stairs, cooking injuries and medication errors. However, the person strongly desires to stay in their own home, among familiar things and routines, and resources are limited. Each family needs to explore the benefits and costs of the options and decide how much risk they can tolerate, and how much weight to give to each factor.
It may be helpful to understand that these decisions involve more than a test of wills between generations or people within the family. They are ethical dilemmas that encompass a complex web of layers including our personal, family and cultural values, morals, religious faith, laws, experience and knowledge, goals and expectations. For example, conflicts arise in families where the parents are first generation immigrants from a culture where parents are traditionally cared for in the family home, and the children have assumed the more American values of independence and consumerism that require two incomes. Another example is a couple who find that they have very different understandings of their commitment to care for each other “in sickness and in health,” based on their family experiences and values.
When we think of all the factors that influence our decisions, it is easy to see why these issues are so challenging and complex. Reaching across the cultures and generations can help us understand each other and find solutions that will meet the needs of everyone involved. It can often help to seek assistance from a PSRC counselor, care coordinator, geriatric case manager, pastor or other trusted counselor who can help you explore whether all possible options and costs/benefits have been identified. Often it is the third or fourth option that becomes the chosen solution.
In October, PSRC will host a Saturday conference entitled “Caregiving With Confidence.” We will offer 8 workshops and an exhibit hall where providers of a wide array of local services can speak with you about core caregiving issues and resources. You will have opportunities to meet other caregivers and to identify new options so that you can find solutions for your particular situation. The conference is intended for adult children, spouses, extended family, friends, neighbors and others who provide a range of care to older adults, from visits and rides to the doctor to full time personal care. We hope you will join us.
Susan W. Hoskins, LCSW
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Previous MessagesJune 2013 - Age Friendly Communities June 2013 - Age Friendly Communities May 2013 - Navigating a Changing HealthCare Landscape March 2013 - Navigating Life’s Transitions February 2013 - Partners in Caring Princeton January 2013 - Men as Caregivers December 2012 - The Safety Net October 2012 - Documenting Your History September 2012 - A Journey of Transformation July - August 2012 - Gratitude & Moving March 2012 - Patient-centered Care February 2012 - Can you Spare an Hour? January 2012 - Challenges & Opportunities December - Are you Prepared for Emergencies? October - Chocolate for Memory September- Looking Back and Looking Forward Lessons and Legacies, March 2011 Independent Living February 2011 Witness to my Life December 2010 Elections, benefits and open enrollment November 2010 Strategic Planning September 2010 Hiring Home Care December 2009 Annual Giving by Sharon Naeole November 2009 Flu Pandemic 2009 October 2009 Healthy Memory, Healthy Mind September 2009 A Personal Perspective on Caregiving July/August 2009 Wei Ji: Crisis, Danger and Opportunity April 2009 Write your own obituary March 2009 Hope and Vision in Challenging Times Medicare Changes 2008: Take A Look! December 2008 Scams, Frauds and Rip-offs November 2008 Engaged Retirement: Beyond Financial Planning October 2008 September 2008 Caregiver Dilemmas Finding Rhythm and Purpose July/August 2008 V + OA = ER (Volunteering + Older Americans=Engaged Retirement)May 2008 Have You Had the Talk Yet? March 2008 Get Moving with FitRhythms™! February 2008 What Are Social Services? November 2007 Plan for the Future September 2007 The Up-side of Aging Summer 2007 National Conference on Aging: Let's ReThink Aging April 2007 Season of Giving December 2006 April Hill McElroy October 2006 Civic Engagement September 2006 White House Conference on Aging May 2006 Are You Prepared? October 2005 Watch Your Language September 2005 The End of the Journey May 2005 New Dietary Guidelines February 2005 Civic Engagement with GrandPals October 2004 The Challenge of Giving Care May 2004 Seniors On The Move April 2004 Random Acts of Kindness December 2003 Civic Engagement November 2003 |